Jolly, jolly, jolly; holly, holly, holly:
Fat Belly Shook Like a Bowl Full of Jelly
Problem is, kiddo, that's probably not the only thing stirring in that priest's undergarments. If I were of child-rearing age, I sure as hell wouldn't put my child on Santa's lap, and I surer than hell wouldn't send my child off to visit his merry old priest without a full coterie of chaperones. Not when, at rock-bottom-minimum, 4,392 priests have been exposed as violating children in the most heinous ways. And that's just the one's that have been exposed via unrelenting investigations by lay people, 'cause, honey chile, those nasty, or filthy, whatever you want, bishops are not about to do their job and expose the scummy pedophiles that are daily violating or otherwise raping children.

Drinks by The Fireplace
Schuyler and Max made sure that tonight, when the weather has really turned horribly chilly, that the fireplaces in the great room and the large dining room were going full blast. Being farmers and ranchers, we treasure the earth as much as we treasure our children, so for every log we burn, we plant a sapling, thus encouraging conservation and wise use of the land. Schuyler is pretty much given complete freedom to fix whatever he wants for our cocktail hour, and tonight he served us a drink we'd never tried before, a Black Velvet, which he made with Guiness and sparkling wine. Though the combination seemed unusual, the results really were excellent.

Jim and Carmen, a Unique Couple
Carmen is Catholic, and therefore uniquely interested in everything that has to do with the scandal of the abuse of children by priests. Art and Terry are also Catholic, and every bit as horrified and hurt by what their bishops are allowing to happen to innocent children. Jim, Carmen's husband, is Pentecostal, and therefore ads a different dimension to Carmen's concerns. Regardless of their different faiths, they both, Carmen and Jim, agreed on one point: a gay priest is to pedophilia as a fish is to a bicycle.

Makes a lost of sense, doesn't it, this comparison, Carmen asked us all. Well, she said, it does to the Mafiosi bishops who will move heaven and earth to sweep this scandal under the ill-gotten carpets at the Vatican, even if it means creating yet another victim-class, gays. So now, Carmen says, we have raped children, and thanks to those slimy bishops, we have another class of victims, gays.

Vatican Orders Holy Inquisition on Gay Priests
Seems that teams of American church officials are going to visit 229 seminaries to weed out gay seminarians, when they know full well that gays don't rape or abuse children. While most U.S. bishops are snottier than last week's dried up snot, they're not always completely stupid, and they know, though they won't publicize the fact, that gays are absolutely not interested in either raping or molesting pre-pubescent or just barely post-pubescent children; they'd much rather have a healthy liaison with somebody closer to their own age. They also know that for at least an entire generation, the worlds' collective psychiatric community has not recognized homosexuality as a disease or a psychiatric abnormality deserving of or needing treatment.

The psychiatric community has for a generation considered homosexuality a normal human trait, like having ten toes and ten fingers. It is not a disease. The Vatican also knows this, though they'd rather throw 10% of humanity on the fiery stake, than admit that pedophilia is considered a psychiatric disorder, very clearly labeled so by the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the world's diagnostic reference manual which lists every mental disorder known to man by carefully elaborated numerically-assigned codes.) Pedophilia, like necrophilia or murderous psychopathic megalomania, is a classified mental disorder, and has its very own number: 302.20

Knowledgeable Consent After Consensual Seduction
What those scrofulous bishops won't advertise, in their witch hunt, is that two consenting gay people will indulge in seduction with mutual consent, whereas a pedophile will seduce a child without the child's knowing he or she is being seduced, if you can call it seduction, since it more often than not involves coercion and intimidation more than it does seduction.

Diversionary Tactics
Another problem, pointed out by Daniel C. Maguire, a professor of moral theology at Marquette University, a Jesuit university in Wisconsin, is that "the investigation is a diversionary tactic away from the real problem of Catholic clergy which is enforced celibacy. It's highly unrealistic. I would call it a failed experiment in human control. It's an impossible plan because if they eliminate the gays they are going to eliminate half their clergy in some of their places."
This posture still obfuscates of course, since it doesn't explain the difference between a gay priest and a pedophile priest.

Lying, Snotty Bishops
Sorry, holidays and all that, but children come first, bishops last. The church abuse scandal was not caused by gay priests, but by pedophile priests, and even they didn't cause the scandal, the bishops did, by hiding, harboring and protecting accused pedophile priests. If dioceses all over the country are going bankrupt because of having to settle law suits, we have only the bishops to blame.

And the church? The Vatican? It rewards the worst of the worst. Cardinal Bernard Law, far from being thrown in a dungeon somewhere for his very unchristian behavior of protecting the worst of the pedophiles, was elevated by the Vatican to near-holy status by making him Archpriest of Rome's Basilica of St. Mary Major, which, because of the perks, clothes, food and lodging, makes it kind of like being made Bishop of Buckingham Palace (with better pay, probably, than the Queen gets.)

Alex, On Scapegoats
Alex, who had been unusually quiet up until now, said that to him it sounded like the bishops were just using the gay priests as scapegoats, to avoid confronting the real problem, and by so doing, hoping to blindside the world. Problem is, Alex said, he doesn't think the United States is going to let those smarmy bishops get away with their filthy conspiracy any longer, nor should parents, anywhere.

Enough of Sick Perverted Catholic Bishops, Let's Have Dinner
Kim and Barry prepared some frittatas, with cheese, herbs, artichokes, olives and tomatoes with dollops of Crema Fresca. Their variation on the classic theme was inspired, as was their pairing the frittatas with some dry Spanish sparkling wine. For the next course, they served us a Creamy Porcini Mushroom Soup with Chive Croutons and paired the soup with the same sherry they had used in the soup, an herbal Lustau Los Arcos Sherry. Eat your heart out, "cardinal" Law.

Kim and Judy together prepared the fish course, amazingly good and slightly spicy Thai Parchment Papillotes of Sea Bass in Curry Sauce. Though not the simplest of fish dishes, they had fun making them and certainly impressed the teenagers with their artistry. Barry suggested a Chilean off-dry Riesling for the fish, finding the California Rieslings a bit too sweet. He brought a Doña Isadora Riesling from Cousino-Macul which really did complement the fish better than the sweeter Rieslings would have.

We had never tried this before, and probably wouldn't have dreamed it up, but Barry served us small dollops of Tequila-Cilantro sorbet as an interlude between the fish and the meat courses. Delicious and different doesn't give it enough credit; the sorbet was a resounding success.

Barry and Kim, thinking that if we had enjoyed the spicy Thai fish, we might also enjoy Paillards of Chicken Breast with Cilantro Dressing which Barry grilled (despite the freezing weather.) Kim served the chicken with a Freixenet brut sparkling wine. For the vegetables, Kim and Barry served Leek and Fennel Individual Casseroles with Pecorino cheese, using the wonderful, small casseroles we have from Staub, Alsatian Cabbage, and using more individual Staub casseroles, a Creamy Potato Gratin. Groaning tables, but smiling diners. So it's cold, we had a great dinner, notwithstanding the slime balls we had spent an hour talking about.

Coffee in The Great Room
Warm Apple Cider Cake with the teenagers, steaming little cups of espresso from Max's vintage espresso machine that only he knows how to keep running; except for slipping out to give a carrot to your horses right before turning in for the night, can you think of any better way to end an evening? Take care of those kids, keep those priests away from them, and if it's really cold, blanket your horses!

Summary:
The Vatican is hell-bent on covering up the scandal of its myriad pedophile sex offenders who ruin thousands and thousands of children's lives. They are, stupidly, cruelly, trying to place the blame on innocent gay seminarians, when it is known throughout the enlightened world that pedophiles are clinically criminals, and gay people are as normal as you or I. Maybe, during this season, the Vatican needs to pray for its own enlightenment, since the Dark Ages happened so long, long ago. Snap to it, Pope. Children deserve it.