August 2005

No such thing now as national security
Alex chimed in to say that there is no such thing now as national security or Ridge would not have had to constantly tinker with the Technicolor color chart, would he? And really, taking that position and never having heard about Al Qaeda? Never listening to Richard Clarke’s dire and urgent warnings?

Anna Nicole Smith: Mission Accomplished
The mission accomplished? Just look at that girl now that she’s lost all that excess weight. Now that’s some prancer and that’s a concrete accomplishment, a real mission accomplished! Bring out the Champagne!

Powell: boy, we’re going to miss him
Again, with the exception of Powell (boy, we’re going to miss him), they are, each and every one of them, girly men, always letting their bulldog mouths overload their puppy dog butts.

An Even More Evil Attorney General
Especially scary are these: the one with bags down to his knees (fortunately now out of the administration, but replaced by, can you believe it possible, an even more evil attorney general), the one with the beady eyes and pointy ears, the one with the maniacal mechanical doll hand and arm gestures, and the one with the rock-hard kamikaze hairdo.

Nice Group of Honorable Gentlemen
AJ mumbled something about The White House’s Alberto R. Gonzáles and Lt. General Ricardo Sánchez, and other Casa Blanca’s Augusto Pinochet, Fidel Castro, Jorge Videla, Emilio Massera, Ricardo Miguel Cavallo, Efrain Ríos Montt, Lino Oviedo, and Alfredo Stroessner.

Cardinal Bernard Law enabling all those pedophiles
But never fear, the Vatican, bless its little heart, found a way to put Law out of his misery by making the poor man Archpriest of St. Mary Major Basilica, one of the four most important basilicas in Rome.

Faith-based assault on an innocent country
If this is faith-based, born-again cowboy politics, God save us from their ilk and help us pray for the innate kindness of those Iraqi’s who put to shame the myriad acts of pure, unadulterated hatred, evil and hypocrisy of the Toxic Cowboy Crusade Brigade.

In the spirit of all this Bush-Papal camaraderie
We agreed that he is fully deserving of being right up there with the Holy Popes Alexander II, John XII, Alexander VI, Julius II and Leo X.

THE U.S. SOLD DOWN THE YANGTZE RIVER
The Chinese consider us one of their best customers. The Chinese, however, may not be one of our better allies, yet they hold most of the U.S. Debt, in essence partially owning the United States.