A Season For Children

What Is More Precious Than A Child?
After a couple of ferociously frigid days, the sun is out and our mood is suddenly brighter. With the fireplace in the great room roaring, we gathered to enjoy Schuyler and Elizabeth's Mulled Wine (alcohol-free for those who don't drink alcohol, but still "mulled.")

Elizabeth was talking about children, reminding us that in great part, this time of year is devoted to them and to the inner-child in all of us. In our large circle of neighbors, we have couples who decided they would rather not have children; we have couples who cannot have children; we have couples whose children are grown, married and living far away; and we have couples with school-age children who nightly fill our great room with their laughter. But Elizabeth's message was still on target: it's a beautiful time of year, and if you have children around, it's especially nice to make this time of year special for them. She wanted us to read a short poem by the poet Dorothy Law Nolte:

 

Children Learn What They Live

 

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

 

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

 

If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.

 

If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.

 

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

 

If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.

 

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

 

If children live with security, they learn faith.

 

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

 

If children live with acceptance and friendship, they learn to find love in the world.

 

Poem copyrighted by Dorothy Law Nolte 1975
By Kind Permission

 

Elizabeth and Schuyler both wanted us all to remember that in our thankfully varied circle of neighbors, our children are also learning to accept diversity and inclusion. They wanted the teenagers in on tonight's conversation, because they also feel that his time of year isn't just about Christmas, although it's wonderful that it's Christmas if you are Christian, but what seemed especially important tonight to Elizabeth and Schuyler, was to review several other faiths for whom this time of year is important, and some of the adults among us knew we'd learn quite a bit also.

 

The Winter Solstice
In the northern hemisphere, the winter solstice usually falls on December 21/December 22 and in some parts of the northern hemisphere the winter solstice is celebrated as Children's Day, just as in the Christian religion it is The Child's day, Jesus' day. The first celebrations held around the winter solstice were pagan celebrations, so another cause for Elizabeth and Schuyler's amazement centered around the diverse religions that today (as they did a millennia ago) have the winter solstice at their center. The first people to celebrate the winter solstice were the ancient Persians and their Zoroastrian religion. The Romans called this time Dies Natalis Invicti Solis: the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun. The Druids considered the winter solstice a sacred event, and used mistletoe in their celebrations. For them, the yule log was of great importance, and was a time to celebrate the renewal of the earth, and greens were used as a symbol. Now, what amazed our teenagers (and, to be truthful, an awful lot of us adults) was the great number of religious celebrations that have the winter solstice at their center. Schuyler mentioned just a few, which seemed like many to us: Yalda, Saturnalia, Christmas, Karachun, Hanukkah, Festivus, Kwanzaa and Human Light.

More bits of information this amazing couple shared with us just kept surprising us. For example, did you know that this time of year is also important to the Chinese? They call it Dongzhi, 'winter's extreme.' But let's not forget that in many regions, this all is still about children: from the fabulous Wangjianshuo's blog we learned that on this day you eat Chinese dumplings (Jiaozi), and children are taught that if you don't eat dumplings that day, their ears will be frozen and drop down. Yes, all children believe it. And quoted on this amazing blog, from the Hong Kong Tourism Board: "This celebration can be traced to the Chinese belief in yin and yang, which represent balance and harmony in life. It is believed that the yin qualities of darkness and cold are at their most powerful at this time, but it is also the turning point, giving way to the light and warmth of yang. For this reason, the Dong Zhi Festival is a time for optimism." Hmmmmm, sounds kinda' like Christmas, doesn't it? Also, Judy said, this sounds like there are more things linking human beings than separating them, if we just had the sagacity to realize it and act on it!

 

Glorious Sound: Our Neighbors From Iraq
Rania and Fareed, our new neighbors, are Iraqi Muslims, and have one child, Nisreen. Eli Shahrabani and his wife Sagidah, are our new Jewish neighbors from Iraq, and have a son, Naim. You met them several months ago shortly after they moved up here and bought two farms not far from us. Normally, perhaps out of a little bit of shyness, they don't talk (or yak, as we do) quite as much or as often as we do, though because of their worldliness and sophistication we know with time we'll learn an awful lot from them. But tonight, that glorious sound: the two women, Rania and Sagidah wanted to tell us some interesting things they had learned from scholar, author and librarian Joan Wink.

They had read some articles written by Ms. Wink and thought because of tonight's conversation, we would find Ms. Wink's sage information not just fascinating, but very much on target. They said they had learned so much, and asked us for a bit of patience because there was a lot to share. The teenagers certainly didn't seem squirmy, so they, as well as the adults, were glued to Rania and Sagidah's recounting of Ms. Wink's lessons.

The ladies apologized for jumping over each other in their zeal to let us know what they had learned, and asked us to indulge them a bit: theirs was going to be a bit of a disjointed conversation, but we knew that the lessons were still going to be there, and we were delighted to find them so willing to share their views. One, a Muslim from Iraq, the other a Jew from Iraq, were going to enlighten us all about other cultures and other "holidays" using material and even the words they had received permission to use directly from their treasured source, Joan Wink. They received most of their information from http://www.joanwink.com/newsletter/2004/news1204-intro.html

 

Christians: You Aren't The Only People on Earth
Rania and Sagidah agreed with Ms. Wink that the American Christians don't own "the dominant culture" traditions and we need to understand why our supposed ownership of the feeling of "peace on earth" may produce discord. December, they said, was not only for Americans, and especially not only for Christian Americans. As Ms. Wink said: "There is a beautiful universal theme of light that seems to prevail among the varied religious and non-religious celebrations that occur during this naturally dark and cold time of year."

There is a book, "The Tree of the Dancing Goats" by Patricia Polacco, which relates the story of a Jewish family that provides Christmas celebration for their neighbors who have been stricken by scarlet fever. They disregarded their personal danger of exposure to contagious disease, and used their menorah Hanukkah candles to adorn and light up the evergreen trees for their neighbors.

Ms. Wink also provided us with this narrative, from Ula Awwad-Raiyan, a young woman studying for her CA teacher's credential: "The holiday season is coming upon us. Colorful lights, joyful carols…a time of reflection and renewal. Many people do not realize that for one-fifth of the world's population, another 'holiday season' has just ended: the Islamic month of Ramadan followed by the Islamic holiday of Eid Elfitr. The holy season begins with the sighting of the crescent moon on the evening following the new moon and lasts for 29 to 30 days depending on the lunar cycle.

In recent years, Ramadan has been observed during the 'holiday season' of the two other great monotheistic faiths. But the timing is where the similarity ends. Whereas Christmas and Hanukkah have become widespread, commercialized holidays for many, Ramadan retains its intense spiritual meaning." Here, Judy said Amen! We ought to learn from them what we've forgotten! It isn't about enriching the department stores, it's about our spiritual life.

As opposed to other holidays, when people often indulge, Ramadan is by nature a time of sacrifice, fasting, increased devotion and special attention to the Creator. Again, lessons that we need to learn from another culture, no? Ramadan also is a season of increased charity, rather than of mindless spending. Muslims develop feelings of generosity and good will towards others, bringing both Rania and Sagidah to proudly tell us something very important they had begun to learn about their newly adopted country: the enormous wonder of the spirituality of the people who where here long before the Europeans began to colonize the Americas.

 

Boy, Did I Jump to Attention: The Beliefs of the Original Americans
I, having found profound wisdom in the beliefs of the people who populated these shores from sea to shining sea before we came to destroy them and their heritage, was enthralled by what these two ladies from across the sea were about to tell us. I already knew quite a lot about "Native American" belief systems; as a horse breeder, you have to learn what these amazing people have to teach you about communing with your horses. But tonight, the topic wasn't horses but spirituality, and I was mesmerized by Rania and Sagidah's recounting of Ms. Wink's sage lessons, especially this one, which deeply touches my soul. Fortunately, Rania and Sagidah read to us from a copy of Ms. Wink's report of a friend of hers, so we were amazingly lucky enough to get the entire message:

From Delphine Red Shirt, a Lakota writer, who currently is raising her family and teaching at Yale. In this article, Delphine is reflecting on what her mother told her about the holiday season, when her mom was a young girl, and how it has evolved until today.

Over time, the Lakota way of life, like many Plains cultures, insisted upon generosity as a means for survival of pa people. The weak, poor and the old, especially the infirm, orphans and widows, were sought out to receive gifts. A girl became a true Buffalo Woman, part of the Lakota Pte Oyhate, or Buffalo People, through a ceremony called Hunka Olowan Pi, or the Making Relatives Song. The young woman would adopt the poorest member of the tribe as her relative. The indigent person then considered the wealthier family as his or her own, and the family cared for that individual throughout his or her life as they would someone related by blood. (Sorry, but at this point not a few of us were shedding tears; we knew how we had allowed our 'holiday' to degenerate into an insanity of shopping, rather than a beautiful experience of caring.)

Gift giving was simply a way of life. Today, Plains people still have 'giveaways.' Families save and give things away to honor someone else or an event in their life. The word wi kpe ya pe, means to throw away, the idea that things of this world are meant to be pushed away from the individual self and toward the collective, thrown into the pile where they can be redistributed.
The display of generosity at such events will humble any observer, especially those in today's culture who after the holidays open their bills to pay for what they have given to family and friends. For many indigenous people Christmas can happen any time, and the wonderful thing about a give away is that you will walk away with something good, tangible or otherwise.

 

The Lakota Way, The Democratic Way
To us, ever mindful of how our country is going, it seems there is something so similar in the beautiful tradition explained by Delphine Red Shirt and the beautiful way Democrats are ever-mindful of the needs of the less fortunate. However, we can still learn so much. And isn't it amazing, that two ladies from Iraq gave us, citizens of the United States, such an important lesson on ways of the "indigenous" peoples? We felt such gratitude towards Rania and Sagidah, as we did towards the kind Joan Wink for allowing us to use so much of her material tonight.

I, the person who lives for horses and use so much 'Native American' wisdom in dealing with them, would like to recommend a book that spiritually changed me and affects my thinking even at times like these, these "December" moments. It is "The Lakota Way" by the exquisite writer Joseph M. Marshall III, who, if you read carefully, can point you in the direction of a new spiritual path.

 

Thanks, thanks, thanks:
O.K., we know it isn't Thanksgiving, but tonight, the older neighbors, before we go in to our magnificent dinner, wanted to take one moment to thank everybody who made tonight so special: our teenagers, Joan Wink, Patricia Polacco, Ula Awwad-Raiyan, Delphine Red Shirt, Joseph M. Marshall III, the beautiful Chinese web site Wangjianshuo's blog, and for their bravery in coming to live a different life in a different country, our two raconteurs Rania and Sagidah.

 

Long Conversation Tonight; Everybody's Ready for Dinner
Tonight was another one of those everybody pitches-in type dinners, making, preparing, serving, plating, clearing up and winding down a breeze. Max and Charlotte roasted Oysters Rockefeller for us. According to them, this appetizer is really quite easy to prepare. They like preparing and serving the oysters in individual ramekins, and it does make a beautiful presentation. They selected a wonderful sparkling wine for the oysters, an Italian Mionetto Brut. This sparkling wine is very affordable, and has clean, dry, almond and apples flavors.

Kim and Barry introduced us to a new soup tonight, Cauliflower and Potato, with exquisite shavings of truffle! The truffles already provided us with immense luxury, so we didn't think splurging on a wonderful White French Burgundy would really be necessary, and found an affordable but very, very good Chardonnay from the states, the Argyle 2002 Willamette Valley Chardonnay, but one evening we will try the truffle-laced soup with a beautiful French barrel-fermented white Burgundy such as a Louis Latour Meursault, which is a natural for pairing with potatoes, mushrooms, and of course, truffles.

Max and Barry had the grills going in the pool house and didn't mind going back and forth just so long as we had an exquisite dinner. They went Italian tonight, grilling halibut Ligurian-style, alternating halibut with zucchini and cucumbers on the skewers. The pesto in which they marinated the halibut was superb. They served the fish on a bed of simply steamed rice and paired their dish with a Pinot Blanc, a 2004 Terlan Pinot Blanco from the Alto Adige region of Italy. Their wine had refreshing mineral flavors with a soupçon of orange oil. We all took a bite of the steamed rice instead of serving the usual dollops of fruit sorbet to prepare us for the next course.

Bob and Judy brought over a Pepper Beef Casserole that they had prepared the previous day. With us, that's a very practical way to do things as it doesn't rush anybody, and some dishes are better the next day anyway. They did, however, have to bring enough large pots to feed fourteen couples and a dozen teenagers. Fortunately, our teenagers are used to doing farm chores and aren't in the least bit delicate, so several of them hauled the enormous pots onto the Viking cooktops to warm.

In the meantime, since the grills were already on, Max took advantage of the beautiful, hot coals to bake us some of his Chive-Potato Sourdough bread. He has some massive skillets he uses for baking bread on the grills and we're always delighted when he feels like baking his different breads for us. The fact that we had potatoes in the soup course didn't bother us a bit. Up here, potatoes and anything made with them we consider comfort food, and remember the people in the Andes who cultivated them 5,000 years ago!

But, back to our casserole. The pepper in the casserole required a pretty assertive wine, and Bob and Judy brought some bottles of Bodegas Terrazas de los Andes Malbec Reserva 2003. The Mendoza Malbecs are rich, opulent red wines with a pronounced oak influence; in a word, perfect for this hearty beef casserole which was served only with an accompaniment of beautifully braised mushrooms and pearl onions.

 

What A Night To Remember
The gift Rania and Sagidah gave us by sharing their knowledge of other peoples and their beliefs was a treasure. Me, being me, just had to feel that most of the good they taught us I feel we can find in being Democrats, liberals or progressives, if taking care of others is one of the good characteristics of being a member of one of those groups. But tonight, I think we all came away in awe of what we call the winter solstice, since it holds so many people around the world in thrall.

We didn't have dessert tonight, the meal was so satisfying. We sat with our after-dinner coffee, still exchanging ideas with the next generations, knowing that when they went to school, they'd have plenty to talk to their friends about.

As people were putting on their jackets, Liz handed everyone a small slip of paper, with this message from Isaiah 11:6 "The wolf will live with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the young goat; the calf, the young lion, and the fattened calf together; and a little child will lead them."

 

Summary:
With so many people around the world tying their beliefs and holy days to the winter solstice, here on the farm we thought there was much more linking us all than separating us. Maybe, one day, the lamb will lie with the lion? For our children's sake?

©Copyright 2005 Grindstaff Chronicles. All Rights Reserved.
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Reprinted from The Grindstaff Chronicles Newsletter which is published in the USA by farmers, ranchers, and neighbors.

It is intended to share the thoughts and lifestyle of people who work hard, like to relax and enjoy life, and are often dismayed by news, politics, and the events of the day that defy common sense.
http://www.GrindstaffChronicles.com
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