As Twisted Logic as the Curly-tails on a Duroc Brown Pig

Make Sure Your Suspenders Are Working, Your Knickers Are Going to Get a Workout
Schuyler, in part to indoctrinate us into the fine are of sipping a real martini, and in part to slice through the tension on the porch, told us tonight he was fixing us Churchill Martinis. He made them with Bombay Sapphire gin, but said that he would finish preparing them the way Winston Churchill would have approved: he would either pass the tightly closed bottle of vermouth over the martini glasses, or do as Churchill did when he was being even more of a purist: he would just look at the bottle. There. A Churchill martini, gin and gin alone. Some of us, not quite Churchillian enough, passed and had Shirley Temples instead.

Max, who passed on the Churchill martinis, asked us if we were even remotely as confused about the White House's logic about the insane workings emanating from its dungeons (yes, Virginia, the bowels of the White House function just the way the dungeons of old did, remember, Smirky Dick Cheney and Swinish Karl Rove run things.) All at once, the rest of us asked, what logic are you talking about? That's the point, Max said, what logic? The wind suddenly rustling the leaves? No, just a bunch of knickers suddenly starting to bunch up into knots, and thus it dawned on us all: yes, what's the logic?

 

As Early as 1999 Wacko Bush Decided He Was Going to Invade Iraq
First, right off the bat, Jim said, let's make one thing clear. There is no war with Iraq. There's an invasion, decided on by Bush even before he was "elected" president. Saddam Hussein could have been transmogrified into the Virgin Mary, and Wacko would still have invaded Iraq because he was already determined to do it; all he needed was a little bit of time to "sex up the facts." 9/11 was just icing on the cake to help him shaft the people of the United States. As a group, we decided we would once again pull out our papers and re-study the Downing Street Memos and talk about them in the coming days, because this guy, who threw our youth to their deaths for nothing, deserves to be impeached before he's shot by Al Qaeda.

 

Of course, Wacko & Co. have changed their rationale for the war a gazillion times, but at the outset, the stated rationale was never, not once, not not not even once, that it was for humanitarian reasons. It was because the Bogey Man, Saddam Hussein (and Al Qaeda, even though Condi Condosleazza Rice had never heard of Al Qaeda), was after us. Trouble is, Jim said, Al Qaeda had nothing to do with Iraq, now, if you can follow the logic from the piggy's butt to the end of its twisting, spiraling tail, Iraq is overrun by Al Qaeda, and General Myers, that paragon of honesty, says we have to keep them there so they won't attack us here; problem is, buckaroo, it hasn't kept them out of London or Madrid, and they are just biding their time before they hit the U.S. again.

More piggy's tail logic, according to Alex, is Wacko's Jacko logic: we have to keep killing United States troops over there, so "they" won't attack us and kill us over here. See? Perfectly logical. Alex also told us that Meyers had said recently that if we accepted defeat over there, we would just be inviting another 9/11 over here. More logic, no? Well, it gets more stupid. Oh no, did I just call the White House stupid, Alex asked? Gee, must be nuts of me to say that. However, Alex said, Bush assures us that he's now got Al Qaeda on the run, and beautifully, General John Abizaid said that Al Qaeda is "empowered by modern communications, expertly using the virtual world for planning, recruiting, fund-raising, indoctrination and exploiting the mass media." Gee, sounds like Wacko Busho really has 'em on the run, doesn't it?

 

Shelley, on Logic
Well, Shelley said, sounds like this administration, which by the way doesn't administrate, really has logic down pat, doesn't it? Where there was no Al Qaeda, now Al Qaeda has a very welcome and fertile breeding ground for new recruits. Shelley told us she had just finished reading a wonderful French play, written during the time of the French Resistance during World War II, "The Madwoman of Chaillot" by Jean Giraudoux. She thought some of the play had bearing today, and quoted these lines:

 

"It seems to me these [Sunday Supplement ] writers just can't keep their minds off the sewers.
It fascinates them."
(Sewer Man, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"And so you see why I have asked you to come here today.
The world has gone out of its mind.
Unless we do something, humanity is doomed!"
(Countess Aurelia, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"But I don't understand, Aurelia.
Why should men want to destroy the city?
It was they themselves who put it up."
(Mademoiselle Gabrielle, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"Men are big and beautiful, and as loyal as dogs."
(Mademoiselle Constance, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"Justice is justice, my dear."
(Madame Joséphine, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"Here they come, Countess!
You were right--It's a procession.
The street is full of taxis and limosines."
(Irma, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"...we don't have to see it to write about it. We can imagine it."
(The 1st Press Agent, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"Madame, we are the most powerful pressure group in the world!"
(The 1st Lady, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"Nothing is ever so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an afternoon."
(Countess Aurelia, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

"My poor cats must be starved.
What a bore for them if humanity had to be saved every afternoon.
They don't think much of it, as it is."
(Countess Aurelia, The Madwoman of Chaillot, Act ii.)

 

Noble thoughts from Countess Aurelia, pity, Shelley said, that the women in and around Bush's government and home don't have the same altruistic feelings.

 

The Gong, Announcing Dinner And a Welcome Change of Topics
Tonight everybody pitched in to help so dinner, though sumptuous, was easy to prepare, serve and clear. Carmen began our dinner by serving Cherry Peppers Stuffed with Saffron Shrimp. Carmen paired this appetizer with an Italian Vernaccia di San Gimignano from the Terruzzi e Puthod winery. This white wine has an attractive marzipan character.

 

Cathy served us her Oyster Bisque, a favorite with all of us. She chooses her wines carefully, and for the bisque she chose to serve us a Domecq Amontillado 51-1A VORS. Its aromas are woody and gentle, with a dry palate and a salty influence with a creamy opulence, and is absolutely bone dry. The Dutch company Royal Leerdam just developed a perfect glass for drinking sherry with meals, and thanks to Shelley and Cathy, who brought over 30 of the new sherry glasses, we now have an ideal, perfect sherry glass for our meals.

 

Schuyler and Elizabeth prepared Whole Roasted Sea Bass, served with artichokes, tomatoes, and Mustard Spaëtzle with Chives. From their wine cellar, they brought some bottles of a Pinot Grigio for the fish course, one we hadn't tried before, an Australian 2003 Clarendon Joseph d'Elena Angel Gully Pinot Grigio. Its smoky flavor, perfume notes and hints of green almonds made it a perfect match.

 

Alex and Jane roasted a perfect pork loin and apples, blanched some broccoli and sautéed a medley of mushrooms and shallots, and served a cranberry chutney alongside the pork loin. For this exquisite dish, we had a Scherrer 2002 Russian River Valley Pinot Noir, which had notes of cherry and cranberry, making it a perfect wine for this course. They both sang the praises of their new Viking roasting pans, which they thought had made their roasts even better than ususal.

 

Winding Down
What a day. Having to wonder what logic the White House uses to trick the country into sliding headlong into swinish slime really takes its toll. The only respite is ending dinner by sharing time with the kids and sipping Max's special after-dinner coffee brews. The teenagers had all enjoyed tonight's dinner and were every bit as pleased as we were. Most of them headed home to do homework, and a few stayed to help us clean up after a delicious dinner.

 

Summary:
The swinish, corkscrew logic, or illogic, being followed by this White House is alarming. Daily, they change their rationale for their invasion of Iraq, and daily, members of the "administration" contradict each other on what and what isn't being accomplished in Iraq and on whether Al Qaeda is or isn't being contained. Right now, it seems that the only people acting coherently are Al Qaeda. Scary, huh?

©Copyright 2005 Grindstaff Chronicles. All Rights Reserved.
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Reprinted from The Grindstaff Chronicles Newsletter which is published in the USA by farmers, ranchers, and neighbors.

It is intended to share the thoughts and lifestyle of people who work hard, like to relax and enjoy life, and are often dismayed by news, politics, and the events of the day that defy common sense.
http://www.GrindstaffChronicles.com
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